Alone

The wind whispers, it knows the truth. The stars
Watch; Someone crying, yet they know not why
The grass feels her tears, but quivering sigh.
Wind blows stronger taking her words to cars
But still they speed by. Only the wind pays
Attention. "I'm all alone," she whispers.
Music, turn it up. No one cares. Helpers
Busy, one girl, they can't hear her. More days,
More cries, the wind carries her words, still no
Attention is paid. Windows are all closed,
Blocking the sound. Screams now silent, only
The stars can see her pain, fears alone show
At night. No one sees, no questions are posed
Too busy; distracted; bind. So lonely.

Lying to Yourself

“Stupid war. I don’t know why we have to save the Damn Jew’s any way. It’s God’s work. We’re better off without them.” Laurie Waninger grumbled to his wife, Kelila, Lil for short, and mother-in-law, Eliza. “God’s people indeed. This world would have a lot less wars if they weren’t here. Hell, they’re the ones that started the damn war anyway!” He paused for a moment, shaking his pale blond hair out of his eyes, then continued as if they were talking about the local high school’s football game. “And now, here I am, asked to defend the Bastards. Asked to fight my brothers, my family!”
Lil, calmly looked up from her crocheting, placing her hand on her slightly protruding tummy, broke into his tirade. “It’s not like they say dear. I’m sure the Jew’s wouldn’t have ever started this war, I mean…they did get all their possessions taken away before it was even started. They had no jobs, and no money, how would they have started a war?” Her olive skin and hair gave her an almost Native-American look. However, she knew where she was from, even if her husband hadn’t a clue. She knew she was treading on delicate waters, with him. defending a people he openly thought were trash. She wondered if he did find out, what he would do. Even knowing about the baby, his temper was an uncontrolled fury, tightly wound around a bomb, and she sure didn’t want to set off the fuse!
“I still can’t believe they’re asking me to fight for a cause I don’t agree with, especially now, with our third child on the way. You’d think they’d give some consideration to a man with a family to feed.” He stomped his crusty boots, on kitchen floor, dirt and manure remnants falling off and raining on Lil’s recently cleaned floor. “Not to mention an ill Mother living with him.” Laurie nodded to Eliza. “I really do appreciate your being here while I’m gone, Mam.” He used his pet name for her. She was as close to a mother as he’d ever had, and he knew that his wife loved having her around. Yes, she was another mouth to feed, but even if he hadn’t loved her as he would his own mother, his wife adored her. And if was good enough for his wife, well then it was by far good enough for him.
Lil spoke up again, “Well, we may be able to get a pardon for you. Or that guy ­‑ what was his name? – your friend. The single one. He might be willing to take your place in the draft.” She got up from her chair, awkwardly, and did a sort of waddle over to check on Gwen and Lana, ages 2 and 9. Lana was reading quietly in the brown cushy recliner in the living room, while Gwen, her limbs flailed haphazardly, slept on the couch.
As she toddled into the room Lana glanced up from her book and smiled briefly. Lil quirked her mouth in a secret smile. Her children. So different, in looks, in temperament, were life’s way of saying that the love God had for them, for her, is real. So real she could feel it’s embrace. Her husband may never know, may never understand, some of the aspects of life, or even the aspects of her life. But, she knew. She understood, and if she were to ever forget, all she would need to remind her was to take a visual of her children.
Lil turned around and made her way back to the kitchen, and her husband. She loved him, and for him to ever really know her, she knew she would have to tell him. Bring it to the fore. If he loved her, like she believed he did, he would accept her. And, she knew, if he didn’t, she would be ok. Love was there. God was there.

Screems of Silence

She sat down, grazing her face, with her fingers, trying to feel if she were bleeding. She was still shaking, even after having run from him. However, brief a reprieve she would get, she would take advantage of. The hard, cold, pavement felt calming. The only real thing in her life. She wasn’t even sure if she were real. She hadn’t felt real in a long time.
Her husband had come into her life, when she was just 14. He promised her freedom from her drunken father, and promiscuous mother. He painted pictures for her, of his castle, with its rambling corridors and ancient art. He paid her father to sign her over to him. Had she a choice?
He said she would be the beauty of his fortress, the one shinning star. She had believed him. And maybe, maybe it would have been different…if she hadn’t fallen off the horse. If she’d have listened to him and stayed inside, but, oh, how she loved to ride. She had gotten used to her daily rides. Had enjoyed the wind in her hair, the muscled horse galloping beneath her. She hadn’t realized just how muddy it really was. She hadn’t meant do defy him. She just wanted to breath the fresh air.
After the fall, he never looked at her the same. She had been thrown against the trunk of a tree, her face taking the brunt of the hit. She couldn’t see from her left eye socket, there was no eye there to see with. She knew she wasn’t the beauty that he had married, she knew the defiance was on her head, but this, this was almost too much to bare.
He heard her crying, as he stalked up to the castle chapel. His dark, velvet, shirt making noise of the tide lapping at the shore, as he swung his mammoth limbs. He hardened his hart against any sympathy he might feel for her, it was her fault that he was doing this. He had loved her, cherished her. Then, she had to go make a mockery of him. She had to defy him, and after all that, she had to permanently remind him of that defiance. She wasn’t worth his time. However he couldn’t have others seeing his wife as controlling him. Not that anyone ever saw her these days, he didn’t allow it. No, she was forced to hide her mutilated flesh from the world. Hell, she can’t even talk properly! Why would she want to meet with anyone, anyway? She was hideous. He was convinced that he was doing her a favor!
As he came up to her, he saw it. His chance. He picked up the candle stick near her, and swung, as she opened her mouth, but said nothing.